The % doesnt lie

Almost May?

Wow.

Time sure flies when you aren't paying attention.

Like to this blog.

I lied.  I have been paying attention.  

To chips.  And dips that go accordingly with chips.

They go hand in hand.  

I imagine that they are good friends and go boating regularly during the summer.

And coupons.

Sadly, Yes.  Coupons.  I have seriously developed a problem with coupons.  

Sounds sad to say.

I wish that when I said coupons I meant beer.  

Because at least people know what attention to beer means.

Beer belly.

Burps.

Slovenly appearance.

Slurring of words.

Lack of pocket change due to buying beer on my way to and from work.

And it would totally explain my attention to chips.  As beer is chips' other summer friend when he isn't with dip.

But I say coupons...you immediately start playing a cartoon in your head of Steamboat Willy and wait for my lips to stop moving so you can nod your head and say "hmm, I agree", without a fucking clue of what I just said.

When I really had insulted your dog and called your mother a whore, but it doesn't matter - you were not listening anyway.

I am that woman at the grocery store who has her coupons in accordian style binders.  Organized like my life depended on it.  Grouped with like coupons.

Sad.  I am the first to admit it.

Pathetic.  I know.

Weird.  Well, I don't know if I would go that far b/c I do like to save money and that is the point of the coupon craze.

It doesn't cost any money - so that's a bonus.

Last week I saved 62% on a shopping trip to Kroger and that's money in the bank my friend.

Money that I can now spend on more chips.  

And dips. 

And beer.

prentzels

My personality  has recently switched from straight up sweet and lovely (obnoxious) to obsessive.  I have found something different each week...hell, each day to obsess about.

Today I obsessed about making sure I made it over to Toys "R" Us to buy Carah some sort of Easy Bake Oven mix so we can entertain her this weekend with some mini pretzels cooked by a light bulb for 12 minutes.  My brain will not function until I know where I am going and what I am getting there.

I didn't make it around to my other obsession today, finding a bird feeder that Carah and Brady can paint and then we'll hang it in the back yard on the tulip tree so we can watch the birds eat from the kitchen.  

And my mild OCD tendencies are getting the best of me right now. 

 

If I leave right now and drive over to Hobby Lobby I can pick up two bird feeders with some kid-safe paint I can get back to the office in enough time to make it back here for my meeting tonight.

There was a HUGE Calphalon warehouse sale in an abandoned Linens N Things.  For two glorious weekends in March they sold fabulous skillets, butcher blocks full of superdupersharp knives, utensils, kitchen towels and many, many other necessities that I didn't even KNOW I needed until I showed up there.

In true obsessive fashion; the first weekend I completely forgot about the sale.  I happened to pass by on the way to Target to purchase Easter goodies for the kids and ran inside and bought a new skillet, a huge griddle pan (so the entire family can eat pancakes at the same time, instead of in 4 separate shifts) and a sweet ass $2 set of tongs.  

I would have bought more but Brady kept assaulting people with the tongs and since I wouldn't take them away from him in fear of having to entertain him instead of shop for new pans, we left.

The second weekend I bought $96 worth of fantastic beauty known as Calphalon.  I showed up at 1pm on Friday when the sale started...the line was 3 hours deep and my 1 hour lunch wasnt going to cut that.  So I came back later that day and had a freakin ball.  

I also went back with my mom on Saturday...and had to kick myself in order to NOT go on Sunday.  But I got some kick ass shit!  Seriously.  If you get geeked over new kitchen stuff like I do then this was your place.

Who doesn't love a $2 spatula?

The OCD also runs into problems with cooking and cleaning.  I go on cleaning binges much like a 14 year old girl with serious daddy issues binges and purges her dinner from an all you can eat Chinese buffet.  

But as of last weekend the kitchen is organized.  Like super or-gan-ized.  

I finally have somewhere to store my new dessert bar pan and my MUCH needed 2nd set of wooden spoons...and 3rd spatula...and my 4 new skillets...and the 2 new cookie sheets that I had to have b/c they came with cuteascanbe cooling racks.

So I buy all this new shit...and what do I resort to?  

Letting the 5 year old use the kitchen to light bulb cook us some pretzels.