we both celebrate and lament them

Many Midwesterners choose the Midwest for our super low cost of living. Some choose it for the friendly folk you come across in your daily life. Some simply love our celebratory way of life through Lenten fish fries, county fairs and a festival for anything you can think of.
Me?
I love to live in the Midwest because unlike many other areas in the country, we have all 4 seasons.

Sure Schwartz, Ive seen all 4 seasons. Its no big shit. Whats so big about that?

Here in NW Ohio we have a strictly defined set of 4 seasons.
Sometimes they overlap and at times we are even cut short a season. Example: A few fine years ago we spent September watching the temperature slowly creeping down the thermometer waiting for fall to come so we could rake our leaves and head to MacQueens for apples...then WHAM! We woke up to find that Fall had forgotten to show or simply that Winter had bullied itself first place in the season line that year.
Even though we said we hated it, secretly we didnt mind because this just gives us something else to bitch about, another favorite past time of Midwesterners. We love to bitch about the weather.

I speak to you on the 9th day of March today. March has a tradition of 'Coming in like a lion and going out like a lamb'. Sounds cute huh? We expect our months to cooperate with us. March is a massive 500 lb lion right now. We just had measurable snowfall yesterday and we were hoping for sunshine and birds. So by this famous March saying we expect light jacket weather in 2 weeks. March better provide for us. We have stuck it out this far. Cabin Fever is a bitch.

Sure. We say it now. We miss Spring!!! We want the warm weather!!!

Just wait until it gets here. Oh, yes, yes...we will be THRILLED about the weather for a few months. Then something clicks in our brains and we realize that we have bitched about the weather nearly enough.

Its too hot to go outside! I hate this heat!! My air conditioning bill is more than my car payment!!

And as soon as fall comes we are greatly relieved, so are our pocket books.

The cycle goes year round. And luckily we do have all 4 seasons here because I dont know what we could possibly bitch about more than the weather and still be happy to see it come and to see it go.
Fucking March is not on anyones nice list right now...when is that lamb coming? We are all ready for Spring here. I hate this snow and cold.
Baaaa Baaaaa