WFMW: holiday elves and Santa paper

As I have stated before, the holiday season is my absolute favorite time of year.

I have an obscene love of Christmas/holiday music.

I love buying gifts for other people.

I even wait until after the holidays when all of the holiday colored and patterned ziploc/hefty plastic baggies go on clearance and then I buy them all. Seriously, all of them. I STILL have like 5 boxes from last year. I like to use them year round...makes life more fun, right?

And I have a natural and healthy love of shopping that keeps me hopping.

I wouldnt even mind living in a Christmas town...you know where everyday was Christmas. And it was acceptable to sing Christmas Carols all the time, where you can always taunt kids with the gift of coal if they act up and pout over nothing, and no one judges you for watching holiday movies everyday, and eating fudge everyday and cookies everyday and pies everyday... And there would be little elves around to do the dirty work like the dishes, clean the oven (you know, from all of the pies and cookies), and pester people to let me know if they want anything...b/c I hate guessing what people want and I hate forgetting people too. Little elves would be perfect at this. Plus, I would have them shave my legs for me - you know, just one less thing.

So naturally I have a slight tendency to sometimes go overboard during November and December. I have a few tried and tested tips that have helped me make sense of the chaos that can be the holidays...

• buy your gifts early in the year during sales and clearances so you don't have to struggle at the last minute to find something - which always leaves me stressed out b/c there is no such thing as 'quick' when it comes to shopping with the masses during this season
• get everyone in your office/group/club the same thing. You'll save money doing this, it makes it so much easier on you and no one will feel slighted in any way.
• don't overextend yourself. Its perfectly okay to say no to parties and other invitations. Part of the joy of the holidays season is being at HOME...doing nothing...well maybe watching It's a Wonderful Life on DVD while decorating the Christmas tree...drinking too much wine and eating far too much of the pumpkin pie you made 'just to see how it would turn out'.
• the one thing that has made wrapping gifts for the kids SO much easier is having 1 roll of wrapping paper from Santa - it is always covered with faces of Santa...this paper is available everywhere so I am not going to suddenly have an issue with this. Santa's wrapping paper has Santa on it - so we know its from him. And then I buy whatever the hell I want for our wrapping paper. But the kids always know which gift is from Santa. Stupid but means something to them. Plus it helps to even it all out and make sure Santa brought enough for both of the little boogers.
• Have a go-to dessert or appetizer. You forgot that you are going to see your long lost ex-coworker who you really don't keep up with much but you feel bad you don't have a gift for them...in comes your go-to dessert or appetizer. Make them up a batch of your super special holiday cookies and even if they are in a holiday ziploc bag it will be such a great gesture.

This is what works for me during the holidays...go HERE to see what works for everyone else!

the weird kid brought the flute again with three calling birds and two french hens

• Last Saturday was one of the best days that Jeff and I have ever had. No, we aren't engaged (yet). No, we aren't buying a house (yet). No we aren't pregnant (yet). But it was absolute bliss. Oh, and we went to Biaggi's and it was good too. Oh, and my dream was even better in real life!
• I jacked up my knee walking somehow. Just plain old walking. Not even running or skipping, just walking. Not sure when my knee started to self destruct but it is apparent that the process has begun. When did walking become such an adventure sport for me?
• I heard a block of Christmas music on the local soft rock station today. This station plays 24 hour Christmas music from Thanksgiving through New Years. Seems they are already starting to sprinkle the good tidings and cheer on us now that November has landed. I, for one, am all for it. I am in love with the holiday season. LOVE. Big, fatty holiday season love. And the music is just one more way that I love to go totally overboard for the season.

• Jeff is truly amazing. Seriously and wonderfully amazing. He is my rock. My comedian. My cuddly teddy bear. My strength. My other half. My reacher of things on tall shelves. My opener of containers. My lifter of heavy things. My own personal giant. I love you~

• Best new TV show? Modern Family. Hands fucking down. Love that he broke it~

was Cinderella telling the truth?

People believe in some of the most random shit I have ever heard of.

Seriously, everyone...Miss Cleo wasnt real.
The random bologna sold on infomercials is more comical than helpful.

But most people do believe in a few old sayings...you know the Golden Rule and the 10 Commandments and other mythical stuff (kidding! I am a lapsed Lutheran who knows her Bible speak)

I am a sap who believes in the following "a dream is a wish your heart makes"

Sound familiar?

Yeah.

It is from Disney's Cinderella.

I am a Disney whore. Can't get enough of the shit.

Disney is crack to my movie loving self.

And it is absolutely the stupidest piece of crap I have ever heard...but I am a sucker for it.

I love it.

Is it serious though?

So if I have a dream to be rich - that is an obvious wish your heart would make.

To fall in love - also a given

But what about those random and risque dreams you have? Do you really want those to come true? Okay, probably...

Yeah, this is totally confusing when you think too much about it.

Because I had a doozy of a dream last night and I dont know what to think of it.
Good things I hope.

I'm a slave...for the work website

Fabulous Friday.

Shit!

First thing I see in my work email is a voicemail from the boss.

When is that ever a good sign?

Thoughts race through my head...shit, what did I fuck up yesterday? Maybe he's giving us the day off...okay not likely...shit what the fuck is it?

Turns out there are issues with the webpage.

Many issues.

Issues that he told me to clear my entire day for.

I am dealing with said issues.

So there isnt any much time to dilly dally part of my day away.

While I slave away to create the perfect alumni webpage for the U you can catch up on my amazing thoughts on playing candyland, drinking without having your kids judge you, watching tv and being a 'model' parent during Aiming Low's 3 Day Weekend HERE.

look at the H1N1 on that one...he must work out

The youngest of the household received his flu shot today and it sounds so damn adult of me to say that I am jealous that he got his already. 3 more to go...at least he is safe for now.

I have never gotten a flu shot I have totally been one of those people who feels that the flu will skip over them and attack all of my enemies (what did you think voodoo dolls were for?).

But I get sick every damn year. Very pukey and gross flu sick.

So this year I am going to be proactive and get the H1N1 nasal spray vaccine when it is offered for free tomorrow at work.

I have a friend who has 2 little boys at home with the hiney flu and I think this is the one instance that I do NOT want to be like her.

Yes, I think the lines will be long.

Yes, I really don't understand how a nasal spray vaccine works.

Yes, I am really getting into the show Flash Forward.

Yes, I am willing to kick unworthy college kids out of my way so I don't come down with pig puke disease. Those meningitis sponges aren't going to get me with this.

And seriously, these damn kids are like everywhere.

Sure, its a college campus and all, but can I not get 5 minutes of non-students being loud and annoying time during my work day? I don't even work with students in my job.

Think Ill take some pepper spray with me for safety sake.

And a burrito.

Update - I did NOT get the hiney nose misty shot like thing...people with asthma arent supposed to react well to it...back to the drawing board.