Monday, November 24, 2008

21 days

Three more freakin weeks of boot. Three more weeks of the ripping sound of velcro first thing in the morning. Three more weeks of hobbling along and fielding snickering and glares from others. Three more weeks of non matching footware. Three more weeks of walking like quasimoto.

My doctor gave my foot a thorough inspection last Friday morning and determined, after much screaming and yelling on my part, that my ligament had not fully healed.
After I freshened up my makeup in the little girls room because my makeup was streaky from the crying I had to resort to in order to make the doctor take his finger off of the sofuckinghugeandpainful lump still taking up residence on the side of my foot I left there hating the boot.

I am allowed to wean myself off of the boot over the next three weeks. At least this is good news. I will have full use of both of my feet for my tonsilectomy on December 15th.

Happy Monday to all...

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

96'n it

One of my favorite episodes of Frasier has Martin a bit peeved that the dryer keeps shrinking his pants around the waist line....Daphney sets him straight and tells him that he is just eating too much crap and is gaining weight. Forcing him to lay off the dryer...
The past 3 days I have noticed that the dryer started shrinking my clothing as well.

This is partly because I have had to wear the boot for the past 4 weeks and have not had the chance to exercise. Partly because the cooler weather is upon us and it is instinctive to eat a bit more. And most importantly because I have been sick and I have been eating everyfuckingthinginsight.

I did gather the courage last weekend to weigh myself and I did NOT like what I saw. And with my pants feeling a tiny bit snug it is time to take action.

*I am starting to track my Caloric intake each day.
*I am drinking lots of water instead of my steady stream of Diet Coke. I filled up my Nalgene at work with 32 oz. and I am going to drink that today while at work. They say you should drink 12 8 oz cups of water each day. That is a total of 96 oz. Seriously that is a fuck of a lot of water. I might as well get a cath put in so I dont have to get up from my desk every 5.7 minutes to pee. But since my Diet Coke counts towards this liquid total, I think Im in the clear. I am still going to drink Diet Coke because no one wants me to turn into amandathesupermegabitchofohio. I have you in mind, dont worry.
*I bought (some) healthier options at the grocery store last weekend
*I noticed how much crap there is to eat around my office so I am putting it in the common area in the suite so that everyone else eats it
*I am doing a better job at packing my lunch and making sure I eat a good breakfast
*Since I still have the boot this week I know that exercise wont be in my immediate future but it is in the works.

I am not stupid. I know that the holidays are coming up. I am that person that makes Christmas cookies every weekend. That randomly brings a loaf of fudge or pumpkin bread into work to share. I am going to attempt to cut back at the baking this year. Cut back on baking = cut back on schwartz's calorie intake.
Its not new math so it should be easily understood.

And seriously, I just got rid of all of my fat clothes....all of them! And I am not about to go out and buy all new sizes just because I have had one (or 17) too many packages of fruit snacks.
So this is it. D Day for my terrible eating.

Hell, if Martin can do it so can I.

Now I have to make a holiday baking list and curse out the dryer some more.

Monday, November 17, 2008

smiles all around

I seem to be all caught up with my DVR. This has not happened in quite some time you see. Typically it is bursting at the seems with hilarity, drama, and Oprah. Yeah...and some porn too.

We are down to under 28% and I know to some that is still probably pretty full. Not in our house. I do still have the season finale of LOST saved and it will not be deleted until the new season begins (January 21!) and honestly I think that the saved porn is taking up half of that space.
Not a porn person?
Then judge me if you must, think poorly of me, whatever you must do...but I really don't care because I am walking through each day with a smile...

I know we still have a few episodes of Planet Earth on there along with the Passport to Great Weekends with Samantha Brown we haven't watched and I know there are a couple Paranormal State episodes hanging in there. They just may have to take up permanent residence in there because some of them are months old with absolutely no agenda to be watched.

This only leaves one option - fill the DVR back up! Its a lot like having a credit card that you just took months to pay off and now it is at a $0 balance. Whats the first thing you want to do? Yeah, go shopping. The DVR is a lot like this, only its free, and you don't get anything for your time except diminished social skills, a larger ass and cavities from the candy and bag of chips you ate while watching The Biggest Loser. And I think the couch has a permanent dent from my ass now I am thinking of switching the cushions so I don't feel like the couch is crushing underneath me each time I back up my ass (*beep beep beep beep*) to sit.

The holiday season is the best time to fill up the DVR. There are so many cheesy Lifetime and Hallmark channel movies to watch it could be a full time job during the month of December. And not to forget the Christmas classics...Rudolph, Frosty, and the lesser knowns of 'A Merry Mirthworm Christmas' and 'The Trolls and the Christmas Express'.

I am going to have a hard time saving the majority of my Christmas/Holiday DVR's until after December 15th so i have something to watch after my tonsillectomy. Until then I am anxious to find the hokey movies and specials and trap them in the DVR for the foreseeable future.

What is your favorite 'never miss' holiday special or movie??

Friday, November 14, 2008

slice and cauterize

Today is a special little girls 5th birthday. She helped me make hamburger slider cookies for her to take into her pre-school class. You'll have to take my word on it that they were delicious and completely cute partly because I totally forgot to take a picture of the final product and mostly because the only remaining sliders were eaten promptly by Jeff and myself.

This is NOT my picture but this is what they looked like...

They were slider-tastic to say the least.
Why does it excite children (okay, lets be fair, adults too) to eat a food that tastes nothing like it looks? Who the hell knows, but they were tasty!

I will be MIA the week before Christmas for the most part. I am having my tonsils sliced out on December 15th. So I am pretty sure that i will be too drugged up to even consider blogging. Although since I cannot talk for the week or so after the surgery I think I may need to blog to have a way to express myself!

Reading the material online about an adult tonsillectomy scares the shit right out of me. These people use the most disgusting words to describe how they feel and look post-op. Eew. I was considering put up a picture of a great pair of tonsils for you all to look at but then I decide that was pretty gross and you would all run away and never come back.

As any girl born after 1980, I am happy that I will lose a bit of weight when I am only able to eat broth, Popsicles and drink water for a few days after the surgery. From the sounds of it I will be in immense pain but at least Ill be working towards a goal of losing 5 pounds. Sick, isn't it.

At least it is the holiday season so I can fill the DVR with holiday movies and watch them while I am recovering. The silver lining indeed.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

mad muppet love

Click here.

You won't be sorry.

Poor Fozzie Bear...forgetful as can be.

41 seems awful close

I received an email today stating that Christmas is 41 days away. Now, I have been in the holiday spirit for a few weeks now. Happily humming to Christmas tunes on the radio, finally putting the Halloween decorations away, raking gorgeous fall leaves and trying to decide when to start Christmas shopping.

Then it hit me, I have to go Christmas shopping. The thought excites me beyond belief. Yet another shock about Schwartz - I love to go shopping!

It is so hard each year. Who do you buy for? What is a good gift? What is an acceptable price range? I am always that person that spends $20 on my friend only to have them either not get me a gift (not a biggie) or get me a $100 gift. Thoroughly making me feel like a schmo.

What is your go-to gift for a friend or family member?
Do you ask them what they want - maybe spoiling any surprise?

But 41 days is seriously close. It is high time I start working up a Christmas list for the ones that I love.

I know that a certain someone reads my blog and I wanted to give this person a heads up on a few of the things that I am looking at this year...Ill post them as I find them in no particular order.
these can be found here and I wear a size 6.5........

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Hallelujah! Holy shit! Where's the Tylenol?

Halloween has come and gone.
The pumpkins on your front porch are molding and turning to mush.
Frankenstein has found his way back to the garage.

Fall is in full swing in NW Ohio. The grass is covered by the falling leaves. The air is not so much crisp as it has been in the 70's this week, but the air still smells like fall. Just a warmer, Indian summer kind of fall.

I hate it.

I want chilly fall days with the sun shining through the trees. I want to be able to wear my new fall clothing without the temperature spiking to new seasonal highs.

One thing, no matter the weather, that always puts me in the best of holiday moods is....Christmas music.

Yes, I am one of those people who watches Christmas movies all year. I can recite Chevy Chase's rant from Christmas Vacation with near perfection. And even though we have not celebrated Thanksgiving our local soft, adult type music radio station has started sneaking Christmas music into their play list for our listening pleasure. They are playing three Christmas songs at the top of each hour.

One thing that I have learned over the year is that you are 1 of 2 people. You can either listen to Christmas music before Thanksgiving or you can't.

I can.


I know. I probably will not change my radio station until after New Years has come and gone so that I don't miss any of my beloved music.

Near Thanksgiving the same station switched and plays 100% Christmas music until just after the New Year. I am in loooooooove with this station.

I don't even mind the nay-sayers with their, 'It isn't even Thanksgiving', 'Its too early for Christmas music'.

This music puts me in the best kind of suck it!
It reminds me that there are better days ahead. Even if your year didn't turn out the way you would have least there is another one right around the corner.

Ugh, it also reminds me that we need to decorate the house. If we were really smart we would use one of these 70 degree days to our advantage. But, no, we'll probably wait until it is 40 degrees outside, pitch black because it gets dark here now at 5:00 pm, and raining to hang lights and decorate the porch. Its just the way that it goes!

For those of you that are not ready to gear up for Thanksgiving here are a few shots from Carah's pre-school Halloween program where the kids all dressed up and sang us songs. It was absolutely adorable and I am so excited that I got to go!

Jeff and Carah (remember she was a pop star, ***cough, cough, Hannah Montana, cough***)

And another with Carah, Jeff and myself. Yeah, her hair has pink and black 'pop star' streaks in it. Badass.

I for one am totally geeked about the holiday season starting and i am already finding myself DVRing Christmas movies and shows on tv. So embrace the changing of the seasons and the coming of the holidays!

This reminds me of one of my favorite Story People prints:

Rules for a successful holiday:

1. Get together with the family

2. Relive old times

3. Get out before it blows

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

4 years of donkey

I keep meaning to post some of my 'pop star' pictures from Halloween but sadly I have been spending my evenings applying for jobs and glued to the television.

Yesterday was this little thing called the presidential election. Maybe you noticed?
Yeah right!
I hope you got out there and voted. And if you chose not to vote then at least you had a notion of who you would have voted for it if you got the itch to do so.

To those of you that voted for Obama I hope you were able to get some rest last night before having to go to work this morning. I couldnt even make it to his speech. Hell, it was after midnight!

To those of you that voted for McCain I hope you are able to see the good in Obama and what he wants to do for the country. In the words of my dad through an early morning voicemail, "well, I hope that since my taxes are going up that it will help to pay down the national debt. I think that Obama will bring change and I do hope it is the kind of change we need."

But no matter which side you root for, donkey or elephant, you have to realize that no matter who would have won history would have been made. I would have been more than happy about that either way.

The first African-American male has been elected president of the most powerful country in the world. It is just astounding that it took this long for this type of thing to happen. Eh, at least it happened.

But the most important thing is that IT IS ALL OVERWITH!!!

No more political talk at work.
No more McCain/Obama commercials on my TV and radio.
No more leaflets stuck to my door.
No more yard signs.

Breathe a sigh of relief...we have 4 more years of rest.

In other news....
As I mentioned before I am job hunting. The department that I work for at the U is just amazingly stupid. The boss is mean to me, rude to me, called me incompetent...I know that I have been wonderful at work and he has nothing against me. I really want to get a new job and
leave him high and dry. After my two weeks notice of course.

It is in the 70's here in Ohio...has been for three days now. Oh, and gas up here is still at $1.97 a gallon. What the hell is going on?

Oh well, I better get back to work or else the boss will have another reason to yell at me...political blogging.
Parting words: God Bless America!