Monday, December 29, 2008

what did I miss?

I am alive.
Sure. I had the best of intentions of blogging about my tonsillectomy recovery.
I really did.

My surgery was on December 15, 2 weeks ago. I am STILL not fully recovered in a few ways.
I had to spend a night in the hospital, have had to deal with excruciating pain in my throat, ears, neck and stomach, a general inability to swallow without wanting to cry and I have had to go without eating much of anything.
I have found that fast food hamburgers are soft, generally taste the way they did before and go down fairly easy. I am sure that my waist line will really thank me for this one in the coming weeks.

But I have dropped 8 pounds so far and I have gotten tons of sleep. Even though it is sleep induced by a powerful narcotic I still consider it noteworthy sleep.

Now that I have gone through the worst part of recovering from this traumatic (no, I'm not being a drama queen, it is traumatic!) surgery I can say that if you know anyone over the age of 25 that is going to have this surgery....they are going to go through hell for 2-3 weeks. They will question why they even had the fucking surgery, when will their mouth stop being that nasty shade of popsicle blue and will I ever feel better again.
Today is my first day back at work and I was spent at 9:30am. Sad but true. Since I am still not eating a lot I am not able to store as much energy. I think I used all of my reserve energy to drive the 15 minutes into work today.

Anyways, it is behind me and I am getting better everyday. Even though my voice sometimes sounds like a pre-op tranny I am getting by just fine.

Monday, December 15, 2008

Happy Rex Manning Day!

Sorry about my absence but I have been out enjoying life to its fullest so that today wouldn't seem so terrible. I thoroughly enjoyed PF Changs on Saturday night followed by a great showing of Quantum of Solace. Simply exceptional.

Today will be terribly awful. Terribly amazing. And also terribly painful.

Today is tonsillectomy day.

Today is the day that I rid myself of tonsillitis, strep throat, ear pain, bronchitis and an overall discomfort in my throat. My tonsils have been rebelling for some time now. With an average of 8 bouts of illness each year, these little bastards have to go!
They recently heard me speaking of this glorious day and they decided to make their presence known to me. Their wish was to act as they would in the wild in order to scare off predators...expand their current size so that many could see how large and powerful they are.
They are unaware that I know better.

I am giving someone permission to yank my tongue out of my mouth, take a medical instrument and cut and cauterize these tonsils right out of my throat. Thus leaving large white scabs over my tonsils previous rental property that will proceed to fall off over the next 10ish days causing me an amazing amount of discomfort.

Fortunately I will never have to go through this again. Yes you do hear freak cases of tonsils growing back. Many dont know that the human body does have a few types of tissue that regenerate. Tonsils, liver and a few others...but mine will not be back you see, I plan to slip the surgeon a $20 to make sure he does a great job.
I will be rid of my constant illnesses, constant sore throats and I will regain many sick days as well.

Wish me well and I will emerge from my drugged sense of living in a few days to regale you with the joys of recovery.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Ready for it?

5+ weeks until two joyous events.

January 18, 9:00 pm
Big Love comes back with season 3.
Forget what happened? Look here for Q & A.

Whats going to happen with Alby in charge?
What will the community think now that the Henrickson family is 'out'?
Will they add a fourth?

January 21, 9:00 pm
Lost comes back with season 5.
Forgot what happened? Read this to get caught up on the members of Oceanic 815 that stayed on the island, those that left, the 'others', the freighter folk and everything else that happened during season 4.

Where did the island go?
Why is Jack hesitant to make a family with his own nephew?
Will they all make it back in time to save everyone on the island?

random nothings

1. 4 days left until the tonsillectomy. I am EXTREMELY nervous at this stage...and to think that I actually want this surgery. I am pushing for it. And I have been researching recovery tips online which has also given me some hideous facts about the process. Too hideous in fact, that I will not even post them here.

Just know that after Monday morning if you want to get ahold of me please use email or text.

2. The house is 100% decorated to the best of our abilities at this point. It is gorgeous. Our outside lights and our lighted tree sitting in the front window just scream Christmas to me. I love it!

3. Gifts have been 99% purchased. I think I have got them all finished, but there is always that one person who buys you something and you totally forgot about them on your list then you have to say 'I have your gift its just at the house, I totally forgot to grab it today', when what you really mean is 'Fuckity Fuck Fuck Fuck, I didnt even get you anything. You didnt even cross my mind when I was out shopping'.
The kids are getting some really cute and great things. Santa did a great job. Jeff is getting...yeah, right, like I am going to tell you what I got you!

4. I have been frantic at work most days to get all of my events mostly planned so that I dont receive phone calls and emails from work when I am recovering. I know that I will receive emails and calls...I am sure as shit not returning them! Anyone who thinks that I am going to leap out of bed after just having my throat cut open is a freakin psycho. I know it is going to happen though. Fuckers.

5. Lastly I would like to thank Jeff for being so supportive with this time leading up to my surgery. I have been throwing information out at him for a few weeks now and God bless him...he hasnt shown any sign of fault. God speed to you the next few weeks. We will both need it.

Thursday, December 4, 2008

thankful past Thanksgiving?

Lately I have been in one of those disgustingly happy moods where even if a rouge lighting bolt struck my car and fried it to little charred pieces I would be able to shrug it off and go on about my day. I guess it doesn't help that my car is a 1996 and recently hit 160K miles and has a chunk cut out of the grill because my hood stopped opening and the leather is starting to tear on my seat from not being conditioned enough (oops) and I have totally been eyeing a Nissan Murano and this would give me the push that I need to get rid of the oldie and get a sleek new car.

Let me re-phrase that. ...a sleek new-to-me car. I am not a new car buyer. I am a slightly used car buyer. I would rather save the couple thousand dollars that the car depreciates as soon as you purchase it and put it towards things I actually need.
Like tequila and pole dancing lessons.

Total necessities.

Even though I found out that Jeff is NOT getting me a new car for Christmas (ass) I have many, many reasons to be joyous in my daily life.

A car would make it much better though.

I have a warm house to go home to. Loving and caring people at home that are joyous to spend my time with. Plenty of food to eat, in fact too much as I see the scale decided to move me up 5 pounds. Turns out that it isn't the dryer.

I received this email from my uncle, I know that it has been going around, I even heard Paul Harvey reading it to me today - so it must be cool, right? Nothing is cooler than Paul Harvey.
The email is touching and reminds you to be thankful for the good and the bad things in your life. Yes it was a little corny and eh, but it has a great message.
Remember how blessed your life is.
Mine is truly a blessed life, even without a new-to-me car.

I Am Thankful...
* For the teenager who is not doing dishes but is watching TV, because that means he is at home and not on the streets.
* For the taxes I pay, because it means that I am employed.
* For the mess to clean after a party, because it means that I have been surrounded by friends. * For the clothes that fit a little too snug, because it means I have enough to eat.
* For my shadow that watches me work, because it means I am out in the sunshine.
* For a lawn that needs mowing, windows that need cleaning, and gutters that need fixing, because it means I have a home.
* For all the complaining I hear about the government, because it means that we have freedom of speech.
* For the parking spot I find at the far end of the parking lot, because it means I am capable of walking, and that I have been blessed with transportation.
* For my huge heating bill, because it means I am warm.
* For the lady behind me in my place of worship when she sings off key, because it means that I can hear.
* For the pile of laundry and ironing, because it means I have clothes to wear.
* For weariness and aching muscles at the end of the day, because it means I have been capable of working hard.
* For the alarm that goes off in the early morning hours, because it means that I am alive
* For too much e-mail, because it means I have friends who are thinking of me

Monday, December 1, 2008


seriously, when did I get so old that the days and weeks fly by at the speed of light? Yesterday I woke up and it was June, I blinked and all of a sudden it is December 1?
It is almost 2009?

This leaves me wondering what I have missed during the voyages during light speed...birthdays, anniversaries?

I guess it doesnt matter at this point. But seriously...days seem to fly by now...

small updates

Man, oh, man...a week sure flies by when you aren't paying attention, doesnt it?
The score card around here is very tame for the Thanksgiving weekend in the Schwartz household.

We managed to get through the entire weekend without a single family/holiday related issue.

Jeff and I are so ahead of the game at this point. We 99% finished shopping for the kids in our life and bought a whole bunch of goodies to decorate the house!

Sorry about my previous neglect in will get much better from here on out. Only 2 more weeks until my tonsils are removed and then Ill have all the time to sit in front of the computer I want. Especially since I wont be able to speak for a few days.
Sure, some have expressed joy over this but I fail to recognize it.