Monday, December 15, 2008

Happy Rex Manning Day!

Sorry about my absence but I have been out enjoying life to its fullest so that today wouldn't seem so terrible. I thoroughly enjoyed PF Changs on Saturday night followed by a great showing of Quantum of Solace. Simply exceptional.

Today will be terribly awful. Terribly amazing. And also terribly painful.

Today is tonsillectomy day.

Today is the day that I rid myself of tonsillitis, strep throat, ear pain, bronchitis and an overall discomfort in my throat. My tonsils have been rebelling for some time now. With an average of 8 bouts of illness each year, these little bastards have to go!
They recently heard me speaking of this glorious day and they decided to make their presence known to me. Their wish was to act as they would in the wild in order to scare off predators...expand their current size so that many could see how large and powerful they are.
They are unaware that I know better.

I am giving someone permission to yank my tongue out of my mouth, take a medical instrument and cut and cauterize these tonsils right out of my throat. Thus leaving large white scabs over my tonsils previous rental property that will proceed to fall off over the next 10ish days causing me an amazing amount of discomfort.

Fortunately I will never have to go through this again. Yes you do hear freak cases of tonsils growing back. Many dont know that the human body does have a few types of tissue that regenerate. Tonsils, liver and a few others...but mine will not be back you see, I plan to slip the surgeon a $20 to make sure he does a great job.
I will be rid of my constant illnesses, constant sore throats and I will regain many sick days as well.

Wish me well and I will emerge from my drugged sense of living in a few days to regale you with the joys of recovery.


Emily said...

I hope it went well!

Ashley said...

FEEL BETTER SOON! And you better do plenty of emailing and blogging during your recovery time!