Thursday, May 29, 2008

further proof the computer will replace mankind

Have you ever noticed that your handwriting is not so legible as it was before computers came around? Or that it takes 3 minutes for your hand or wrist to cramp up when writing something simple, such as a grocery list?

Sure I had passed cursive in second grade and stopped making hearts over my i's in Jr High. In high school I had stopped writing all together. Who needs to write if you're not doing homework? But in college, aka: the time when my parents bought me my very own computer, my handwriting went downhill.
I look back in my notebooks (yes I kept them. Doesn't everyone keep their notes from college?) and I see a general degression in my legibility, form and general sense of caring what my printing reads like.

I am not someone that found cursive entirely thrilling by any means. I stuck to printing. I actually was fired from a job because I didnt write in cursive, no shit people.
But even now, my printing lacks a lot.

Look at your grandma's is probably gorgeous and flowing in the most perfect cursive known to mankind. Ah, the time before computers.

My cursive is probably along the same standards as those second graders just learning that the capitol G in cursive will take you a week to perfect. I secretly laughed at everyone whose name started with a G.

At this point I will have to start carrying my laptop around with me to make simple, daily notes to myself. I have reached the legibility of...the doctor. Yes, it is that bad at times. I can't even read my own notes at work. I squint (as if that'll help) and wonder why I was thinking I could call the boss and book a room with pickles. Pickles? Who? Who could I have meant? And why would the boss do this?

Either way...the computer and email have replaced handwriting and letters. But I dont have time to go on because I need to know why I ordered a room with pickles and why I found a note to myself for respiratory murderers this fall. Murderers? What could that possible be?

Maybe that second grader over there practicing his capitol cursive G could help me decipher my printing.

Monday, May 19, 2008

summer 2008

Since I have such a fondness for movies I have been counting down the months, weeks and days until some of my greatly anticipated summer movies appear in our local theaters.

This is the list, in no particular order:

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull - I am a nut for Indiana! And I KNOW that I am not the only person who thinks that Harrison Ford gets better looking with age, much like a fine merlot...

Chronicles of Narnia - The first movie really left a lot out from the 3ish books they jammed into one movie, but Ill still see this one because the books were stupendous and it will be great to see it acted out.

Sex and the City - I have 1/2 of the 6th season left to watch and then I will be ready to partake of this fabulous 4some on the big screen

The Happening - Yes, I know that M. Knight Shyamalan's last movie (Lady in the Water) didn't prove to be his best work to date. Duly noted J. But I think that this is his HUGE turn around! He is going to captivate audiences with this movie. It looks so striking and mysterious.

Hancock - Who doesn't want to see Will Smith as a lazy, homeless super hero? That's easy. No one.

The Dark Knight-I think that this will be a huge movie to see this year following the death of Heath Ledger. It will also be the shit because Christian Bale is a fantastic actor who more than convinces us that he is Batman. Oh, and because he started in Newsies, the best Disney musical ever.

Stepbrother - Mainly just wanna see it because Will Ferrell's in it. Lame reason.

Pineapple Express - Show me someone who doesn't want to see a hilarious movie about the ins and outs of pot and ill show you a commie.

and I know that November has never classified as Summer in anyones book. But I would like to point out that Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince comes out in November. 6 months and counting baby.

Cliffs Notes 101

In order to catch everyone up with the life of Schwartz ill give you all the cliffs notes version of the past week or so.

1. My cousin Ashley came into town with her boyfriend, Nate, and their dogs; Kaya and Macgyver. They are Florida natives that just survived their first 9 months in Vermont. How do you shock the fuck out of someone from Florida? Plop them in Vermont during one of the snowiest winters ever and see how they do! Surprisingly, they both look chipper and well. They must have discovered what the rest of us do during our cold and long winters....screw like bunnies. Its genius. It both passes the time and provides warmth and cardio.

2. J and I have been mad at work (still) with the unpacking and making sure things are settled around the house. The garage is still a high holy mess but until mother nature decides to give us a friendly, sunshine filled and kid free day to work on it I dont see it becoming spotless anytime soon. I know that mother nature can't really control if its a kid free day or not, but she could ask to see our schedule sometime to know what would be best for us.
Its just a thought.

3. I am mad at work trying to find a suitable vacation for J and myself later on this year. We have been throwing around the idea of jetting off to festive Mexico and drinking AI booze and sunning ourselves. This sounds pretty sublime to us both right about now.

4. There is nothing that will tire you out more than a teething 8.5 month old with gas. Enough said.

5. How can children sleep through the loudest noises ever? They can sleep through loud music, movies, tv, conversations, bomb testing and nuclear attacks. But the second you set one foot on a creaky floor they wake up? Amazing. They should be discected and studied. On second 25 year old brother is still like this.

6. Oh, and there is something worse than the teething 8.5 month old with gas. A teething 8.5 month old with gas who decides that 4:30 am is a socially acceptable time to wake up.
Its not. Thank the Lord for the turtle. The baby Einstein crib turtle that plays music and has flashing lights to convince said 8.5 month old that sleep is great. The turtle saves us all. My only problem with it is that it should have a long distance remote that I can click to turn it on while Im still in bed. Walking up a flight of stairs is too much for that time of the day. Remotes make everything easier.

7. Numbers 2, 4 and 6 are the main reasons that we need #3, our Mexican vacation, to happen this year. Without it, there may not be hope for a high survival rate for anyone.

Here is a picture of Cancun, Mexico. Inspiration at its best.

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Its the 5-0.

Not the police.
And not this police either...

Its my 50rd post!
Wow. Doesnt seem like I have been around long enough to have already hit the big 5-0.
Well, I guess this means that I need to step it up and post more often!
Thanks to my loyal readers (as few as you may be) for hanging in there with me...and through the very akward 'Bob' weeks.

Friday, May 9, 2008

Lemon Parsley Mafaldine with Spring Peas and Ricotta Salata

I randomly found this awesome pasta site about 6 months ago and still hadnt tried any of the pasta I purchased.

So I decided last night was the night!
I even got to visit SoFo's for the first time...ever! It was like a tiny Italian Andersons, very cute!

The pasta was, as I said, divine and it was utterly easy! They have a few recipes under each type of pasta that totally compliments the type of pasta it is.

Here is the pasta site: Pappardelle's Pasta

And here's the pasta I purchased
Lemon Parsley Mafaldine

Lemon Parsley Mafaldine with Spring Peas and Ricotta Salata
1 lb. Pappardelle’s Lemon Parsley Mafaldine
2 cups fresh spring peas (I used frozen, just as good, only I boiled them for 2-3 minutes with the pasta)
½ cup fresh basil, ripped
6 oz. ricotta salata cheese, grated
1 lemon, juiced
¼ cup olive oil
Sea salt and Freshly Ground Pepper
1. Cook pasta in a pot of rapidly boiling salted water until al dente (about 7 minutes). Stir in peas and cook one more minute. Drain pasta and peas well.
2. In a large serving bowl, pour pasta and peas. Top with basil, ricotta salata, lemon juice and olive oil. Mix well. Season with sea salt and freshly ground pepper.
Serve within a few hours. Please note, if you refrigerate this pasta the basil will blacken.

I also purchased these ones too...and have yet to make them. I know, Im slacking! Does anyone want to come over and try the dark chocolate???

Autumn Harvest Orzo

Dark Chocolate Linguine

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

jerk chicken with rice, black beans and pineapple

As I stated before I wanted to try and plow through some of my saved recipes (which are really just pages torn out of magazines and printed off of blogs) and actually make some of them.
Well, last night I tried a new recipe~and it was fabulous!

Since I dont have my own camera (yet!) I will just show you the picture from the website (Real Simple) because it looked spot on!

1 cup long-grain white rice (I used brown)
1/4 cup cider vinegar
1/4 cup spiced rum or orange juice (I used OJ b/c I didnt have any spiced rum in the house. I know, its hard to believe)
2 tablespoons jerk sauce (such as Pickapeppa Sauce) you can find this sauce at Kroger
1 tablespoon grated fresh ginger (I hadn't purchased any fresh, so I used 1 Teaspoon of ground ginger
4 6-ounce boneless, skinless chicken breasts
salt and pepper
1 tablespoon olive oil
1 15-ounce can black beans, drained and rinsed
8 ounces fresh pineapple, cut into 1-inch pieces
1 bunch scallions, sliced

Cook the rice according to the package directions. Combine the vinegar, rum, jerk sauce, and ginger in a measuring cup or small bowl; set aside.

Pound the chicken to an even thickness. Season it with 1/2 teaspoon salt and 1/4 teaspoon pepper. Heat the oil in a skillet over medium heat. Add the chicken and cook until browned, about 4 minutes per side. Remove from heat and add the vinegar mixture. Return the skillet to low heat and simmer until the chicken is cooked through, about 2 minutes. Divide the chicken and sauce among plates.

Stir the beans into the rice. In a medium bowl, combine the pineapple and scallions. Serve both with the chicken.

Tip: The chili peppers in jerk sauce shouldn't overwhelm the other ingredients. Taste yours before adding it to a dish. If the sauce is too spicy, cut the amount you use in the recipe by half. Yield: Makes 4 servings

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

higher education, here I come!

After completing my baccalaureate degree at the best school in the area (why, its BGSU of course), I promptly started in on my Masters degree. I greatly enjoyed my Masters classes and I did a fantastic job at everything!

But life took a few swings at me and I backed down from my directed project or thesis to that would complete my degree. So here I am. A 26 year old with a great new job at UT, free tuition at said school for just about everything and a degree to finish. Hhmmmm, seems like I should probably take full advantage of this.

So today....I set the chain of events in motion. I emailed the chair of the department and asked what it'll take to get me graduated (finally!)

So I will keep you all updated on my progress. Ill need lots of cheering and high fives as I complete my directed project or thesis. Both of them are going to royally suck ass. But in the end Ill have my Masters degree.


But have no fear my fellow BGSU alums....I have nothing but love for my school. They just dont give me my eduation for free. Ill always bleed Orange and Brown.

And here are Freddie and Freida, giving it up to my BG peeps (you know who you are)...

pussy control

Thats right. Pussy control.

Prince style.

Listen to it. It rocks my world.

Favorite. Prince. song. EVER.

UPDATE: This is NOT a work appropriate song. Just trying to help you handle the stares you may get when he starts going on and on about Pussy and the moral of the story.

we'll call it a 'workout' from here on out

I recently read that sex does not count as cardio. I found this extremely hard to believe!

Here is what Sparkpeople has to say about it:

"For reference, a cardio workout is anything that raises your heart rate for an extended period of time, usually 20-30 minutes. It works all of the major muscle groups, and you should find yourself sweating and breathing hard during the most intense part of the workout. "

Um....I dont know how the rest of you feel after sex...but I have fully worked all major muscle groups, we always 'workout' for at least 20-30 minutes and I quite often find myself sweating and breathing hard during the most intense part of the 'workout'. So I dont see why we can't claim sex as cardio.

more from sparkpeople:

"Cardio works large muscle groups repetitively (such as how running uses your large leg & arm muscles and swimming uses your whole body). Sex does not typically use major muscle groups (or at least in a full range of motion the way that these examples do)."

I commonly find that the way to work large muslce groups repetitively is to change positions 3 or more times during a 'workout'. It works. Because after a long and strenuous 'workout' I find that my legs are often sore for 1-2 days after! And depending on the position of the 'workout' my arms get toned! So I think you just need to be fully aware of your position and form.

The rest of the sparkpeople article is all bullshit...I think we can count sex as cardio. We all can. Just be sure you change it up and have fun.
What the hell does Sparkpeople know anyways?

Friday, May 2, 2008

is it possible to love you more? OR another side of Schwartz

I have an obsession with a few things around the house.

A clean kitchen and bathroom.
Keeping clothing clean and organized.
Keeping the floors clean enough.
Always having FRU's around.
An obvious obsession with tv (as my DVR fills up weekly and no, not all of its crap).
Making sure that there is enough shampoo to get me through another shower or two.
And in keeping my DVD's in strict alphabetical order.

Yeah. Strict. I am a DVD nazi of sorts. I can when there is one missing just by giving a quick once over. But I love all of my DVD's as if they were my children. Each one of them makes me laugh, cry, love and hate just as much as real people do.
But what really makes me happy is when the one I love can share in these movies with me.

See...He didn't really come to me with a love of movies. Yes, he would watch them and talk about them with his other house-selling realTORS but never did he realize there was so much more to the movie watching (and movie going at that) experience until he met me.

Just last night, as we sat down to enjoy our dinner, I had him pick out a movie to watch since the DVR was empty. I have seen them all numerous times and he hadn't enjoyed the majority of them yet. He narrowed the lengthy options down to just two. Let me just say that his options made me love him just a little bit more, if that is at all possible!
They were: What Dreams May Come (no, no, no. Not WET dreams. WHAT dreams. Robin Williams, love story, heaven/hell....fantastic movie either way) AND The Lord of the Rings The Fellowship of the Ring.
This excited me greatly! I am a super nerd for The Lord of the Rings trilogy of movies. NERD!
So the fact that he wanted to watch them all made my little heart go pitter-patter just for him! I actually tackled him in the family room with a ginormous hug because he had excited me so much~ As I said, I'm a super nerd for LOTR.
In fact...I own LOTR Risk and LOTR Trivial Pursuit. But the only bitch about this is that I can't find anyone who is as big of a LOTR nerd as me to play me in either. I always win. And while it is fun to always win I want someone who can match my wits in this area of pop culture.

With topics such as:
Who is Gimli's father?
What is the Elvish word for friend?
How old is Aragorn?
Why don't the elves and the dwarfs get along?
Explain the light of the Evanstar.
What did the fellowship eat for the greater part of their trip?
Why is Schwartz such a nerd about LOTR?

But the simple fact that the man I love wanted to watch something as intense as LOTR because I love it (okay maybe a little bit because he wanted to see it anyways...) just makes me love him more.

Don't judge me based on LOTR only. I have many many other things that easily classify me as nerd. Please feel free to judge me on those too!