Tuesday, April 28, 2009

The % doesnt lie

Almost May?


Time sure flies when you aren't paying attention.

Like to this blog.

I lied.  I have been paying attention.  

To chips.  And dips that go accordingly with chips.
They go hand in hand.  
I imagine that they are good friends and go boating regularly during the summer.

And coupons.

Sadly, Yes.  Coupons.  I have seriously developed a problem with coupons.  
Sounds sad to say.

I wish that when I said coupons I meant beer.  
Because at least people know what attention to beer means.
Beer belly.
Slovenly appearance.
Slurring of words.
Lack of pocket change due to buying beer on my way to and from work.
And it would totally explain my attention to chips.  As beer is chips' other summer friend when he isn't with dip.

But I say coupons...you immediately start playing a cartoon in your head of Steamboat Willy and wait for my lips to stop moving so you can nod your head and say "hmm, I agree", without a fucking clue of what I just said.
When I really had insulted your dog and called your mother a whore, but it doesn't matter - you were not listening anyway.

I am that woman at the grocery store who has her coupons in accordian style binders.  Organized like my life depended on it.  Grouped with like coupons.
Sad.  I am the first to admit it.
Pathetic.  I know.
Weird.  Well, I don't know if I would go that far b/c I do like to save money and that is the point of the coupon craze.
It doesn't cost any money - so that's a bonus.

Last week I saved 62% on a shopping trip to Kroger and that's money in the bank my friend.

Money that I can now spend on more chips.  

And dips. 

And beer.

1 comment:

Ashley said...

You are too funny. 62%?? That's a lot! I'm impressed. Good job. Now go get some beer!