this gift bites

Most people have a vision of the post office that includes smelly, half dressed people waiting in line to ship 4 bottles of bathtub moonshine to Uncle Zeek while the people behind the counter typically have as much enthusiasm to carry them through their day as I give a shit to hear about how someones cousin had a tooth fall out from eatin' some bad jerkey.

Not to mention that most USPS stations havnt been updated in any way since 1974. Not that they need to drop money into making it nicer than the Hilton but at least as nice as a HoJo would be great.

But somehow something as simple as a package or a small letter mailed from these typically seedy establishments can bring such joy to another.

And sometimes anthrax it seems.

I am not talking about bills or junk mail.

I am talking about cards from friends and family. Sex toys you ordered off of the internet. Coupons for free items at the grocery store. And birthday gifts to celebrate your life.

I have a group of friends who live on the corner of 3th and 5rd. We like to send gifts and goodies to each other.

I received this beauty just last night...

she made me a custom gift tag with a fork tied to it.
The fork reads...I heart Forks. Hehe...

Clever bhc, clever.

The magic inside was so much to keep inside that I screamed.

Loud enough that Carah came downstairs to see what hapened.

Here is said magic in all of its glory.

If you are not a Twilight fan of any sorts then this is all totally lost on you.

If you are a fan then you'll understand how awesome my friend bhc is to make me such an amazing gift.

The covers of the 4 books were adorning the white boxes...filled with m&m's.

And she even stuffed coconut m&m's in there. My new favorite.

She obviously loves me.

And a beautiful new label to a Jones Soda.

An apple. How fitting...

And a custom mix CD from all of Stephenie's favorite songs she listened to while writing the series.

Last but not least...bandaids.

To protect my precious, precious blood.

Thank you sofuckingmuch for my gift. I love it!

WFMW: green cleaning with household staples

Vinegar is one of those items that almost everyone has tucked back in a cleaning closet or under your sink or in some place in the basement that you only venture to after you have bug bombed the area to be sure it is secure.

Once you locate it you can find out all sorts of green ways to clean with it so you dont have to buy overpriced and lethal chemical cleaning agents again.

Baking soda isnt so hard to locate for most - simply look near your spices, herbs or other baking agents.

Here are some of my favorite ways to clean with vinegar and baking soda.

**For sluggish or clogged drains pour 1/2 cup baking soda down the drain.

Add 1/2 cup white vinegar and cover the drain if possible.

Let set for a few minutes, Then pour around 5 cups of hot hot hot water down the drain to flush it. The combination of baking soda and vinegar breaks down fatty acids into soap and glycerin, allowing the clog to wash down the drain. I use this in my tub and in my kitchen drains.
DO NOT USE THIS METHOD AFTER ANY COMMERCIAL DRAIN OPENER HAS BEEN USED OR IS STILL PRESENT IN THE STANDING WATER.

**Use baking soda on a damp sponge to clean and deodorize all kitchen and bathroom surfaces

**Vinegar removes deposits which clog your metal shower heads and sink aerators. Combine 1/2 cup white vinegar and one quart water submerge the shower head or aerators and boil 15 minutes.

**And of course the old volcano science experiment is a classic with these two household ingredients!

This works for me...what works for you? Look for all of the WFMW tips HERE.

the impending 28

Who says Alzheimer's is for the elderly...

Who said what?

What was Who?

And the next thing that I picture is fruit Loops.

With steak.

And a picture of a baby on a horse.

This has been my thought stream for the past few days.

I have been forgetting the simplest things and even the things that I am writing down so that I don't forget them...have been forgotten.

The one thing that has been on my mind a lot has been my impending entrance into the 28 club.

I know that many of my friends didn't have a coronary or sprout gray hair when they aged over 27 (which is really good news). But that doesn't change the fact that I don't want to have my 28th.

Getting closer to 30 isn't a big deal. People do it everyday. I am not scared of getting older.

I am just not particularly partial to it.

I do however like how crafty I have been getting with the grocery bills in my upper twenties. Free food throws itself into my cart and I happily take it home to share. I am able to supply my own family, my brother, my mom and even my grandparents with the staples for their homes...and mostly for free.

With my recent purchases of 14 4-packs of yogurt for free and 15 bags of Birds Eye frozen vegetables for only $3 at least we can round out our diet of cereal to fit in other food groups.

Fruit loops.

With green beans and vanilla yogurt.

Temping...but with the post-summer brain I am working with I will have forgotten this all by the time the work day is over and then Ill be viewing old Steamboat Willie cartoons in my head just to pass the time.

Cheetos is a food group in my house

When you have children in your life you learn a lot of information very quickly.

-That you'll never sleep again

-How to change a diaper without being covered by the goods that your babies ugly bits produce

-How often your baby spits up

-How much spit up covered laundry you do each day

-The weekends are no longer yours. Unless you have a sitter.

But the most important of that information includes...

-How much wine or beer you need to get through that last hour of Candy land

-The absolute earliest you can put your child to bed so you get some peace and quiet (or more time to drink without them judging you) without them waking up at 5am wanting to play

-How many days you can go without washing the dishes or laundry without your house smelling

-How to explain to them that No, they cannot watch TV...but you can anytime you want.

-How to explain that Yes, adults can have snacks whenever they want. You = cannot.

-How to do the least amount of work possible and still having your children think you are the do-it-all mom type parent they think you are

-That load of laundry will not fold itself, but it can sit there for three more days while you catch up on Gossip Girl and 90210 after work

-Peanut Butter & Jelly totally works for dinner. With Cheetos.

-How to work in that small amount of me time into your day while still 'paying attention' to the kids

Of course there are many more to round this list out.

But I am a fan of doing the least amount of work possible and reaping the rewards that come with doing 'everything right' in the eyes of the children.

The quality time with my children that we all love most is me sitting on the couch while they color and I watch a movie on HBO. Quality time is very important for the nurtured upbringing of happy kids.

WMFW: The 3/50 project

I was recently introduced to the 3/50 project.

I had never heard of it and the thought behind it is amazing.

They are 'saving the brick and mortars our nation is built on.'

The information they pass along is quite astounding...read it and pass it along if it is something you believe in.

3 - What three independly owned business would you miss if they disappeared? Stop in. Say hello. Pick up something that brings a smile. Your purchases are what keeps those businesses around.

50 - If half the employed population spent $50 each month in locally owned independent businesses, it would generate more than $42.6 billion in revenue. Imagine the positive effect if 3/4 the population did that.

68 - For every $100 spent in locally owned independent stores, $68 returns to the community through taxes, payroll and other expenditures. If you spend that in a national chain, only $43 stays here. Spend it online and nothing comes home.

1 - The number of people it takes to start the trend...you.

Pick 3. Spend $50. Save your local economy.

Read the rest of the Works For Me Wednesday tips at We Are THAT Family.