28 going on 76

The hovering feeling that I am getting older by the second is really starting to get ballsy and slap me in the face.

Today I was driving to Bed, Bath and Beyond and I strained a muscle in my neck.

How?

Yeah, by turning it to look to the left.

Fuck that.

I did a typical 28 year old neck motion.

I do crazier stuff....in the bedroom. And I haven't strained anything there!

Lets hope I don't get too crazy and attempt to look behind my car while I back up! Ill probably throw my back out.

Speaking of my body falling apart I have decided to join an elite club.

A group so few in numbers...and high in operations that it makes us...pathetic.

I scheduled to have my 4th knee operation.

4th.

Yup, I am only 28.

I had my first at 15.

I guess I just can't get enough?

Its not even anything cool. Its from an old soccer injury. I don't have any good stories or anything. Sad Sad Sad.

And even holding onto the mouse all day to navigate my way around the computer has left my right hand very scary and claw like.

Doesn't make things very easy at all.

So I think I may have another 15 years before my eyeballs fall out and I lose a finger or three in the jell-o salad at Thanksgiving.

WFMW: Inexpensive gift ideas

With the holiday season just around the corner you may be terrified at the thought of dropping large volumes of cash on gifts for your loved and liked ones. Or you are looking for cheap thrifty ways to purchase gifts for those on your list without ending up in financial ruin. Again.

During the next few WFMW posts I will include some great inexpensive gift ideas that are sure to go over with just about anyone.

Most of them can be purchased for $10 or under.

• Bottle of wine or sparkling cider
• Baked goods (and food in general) go over with everyone. Bake up some cookies or bread and include the recipe with the food.
• Basket filled with crackers, bread and cheeses
• Gift them a magazine subscription. Find oodles of them HERE for only $5-$8! Purchase a current issue of the magazine and let them know they'll get it for the next year.
• Pancake or waffle mix and a bottle of real maple syrup
• books
• real popcorn and flavored salt or oils
• holiday mug filled with candy or teas/coffees
• locally made sauces or foods
• movie theater gift certificates
• movie rental gift certificates - with a basket of candy and drinks to go with the rental

Also give ANY gift this holiday season in a reusable shopping tote to promote having a GREEN holiday!

You can pick them up often for $.99 at your local grocery store, WalMart and Target.

This is what works for me during the holiday season. Go here to see what works for others.

and we have a hat trick

To round out the holiday list I have included some great standby's that will get you through in a pinch.

Log onto goodreads and get anything from my to-read list! You know how much I love to read so you know this is a gift worth its weight in....paper?

Remember the awesome and amazingly chic fragrance sampler for men I got you last year that left you smelling irresistably sexy and delicious?

I think I want one too.

I love my current go-to scent but I am really dying to try some of these new scents.

I would also love to partake of a few spa-type services at the Beauty Bar. So a gift card would be ideal. You are the best.

Last and most certainly not least...a blog makeover.

Like, total overhaul kind of action.

And a new web address.

Please.

a hot foamy tornado like hurricane

Since I started couponing last spring I have stopped purchasing certain items entirely for the house.

Paper towels.

Shampoo.

Soap.

Toothpaste.

Pasta.

Cereal.

You get the general idea.
Anything that is shelf stable and free or damn cheap has been stockpiled into my two storage areas. I have tons of this stuff. I have given so much of it away and I still have oodles of it. I am not complaining or anything - its actually a great feeling knowing that I don't have to worry about these basics when I run out to the store.

When She Speaks asked me to try the new Aquafresh iso-active toothpaste I second guessed if I should try it out or not.

I already have 6 tubes of toothpaste at home that aren't going bad anytime soon. But the intrigue behind this new toothpaste had set in.

I received it last week and I have used it exclusively since then and I am extremely happy with it.

It is a gel that morphs into a foamy tornado like hurricane in your mouth when you begin to brush.

Word to the wise.....if you are a person who uses a lot of 'normal' toothpaste typically - dial it down with this stuff. My first encounter caught me with a full mouth of toothpaste. The foam is seriously impressive and with a normal brushing my teeth felt cleaner than they have since I started using my current tube of paste.

I highly recommend this new toothpaste it is just amazing~

Ideas for my beloved - #2

Same deal as last time...just with completely different things.

Crate and Barrel always seems to have everything that I would die to decorate my house with, especially around the holidays. This year they have something that I would be totally selfish with. Well, I suppose that I would share 1 of them with you. Although you do know of my obsession with smores so perhaps just a bite.

A small bite.

You can find these beautiful smores HERE.

And with my super human strength I broke the wire on my extremely well used cheese slicer a few months ago...I have been cutting cheese with steak knives into wobbly mis-shaped looking slices.

Pitiful.

This one would come in handy.

Along the kitchen/cooking/baking lines I think that this mini-loaf pan is not only the cutest damn thing I have seen in a long time...it would be integral in NOT over eating whenever I choose to make banana nut bread.

Because lets face facts...when I make some I eat the whole damn loaf.

Every time.

This *may* help to side track me.

you wanted ideas? #1

And so now you've got them.

It was so much easier just to post the links and pictures here so that you can refer back to this master list (under constant construction, naturally) at any time you need to.

These totally hot Puma Easy Rider III shoes. I am in love.

PLUS they are on sale HERE right now.

I wear a 6.5.

This absolutely stunning Tiffany & Co. Somerset Ring.

Size 5.

Or if you are feeling especially generous and wish to thank me for cleaning the toilets and other icky areas of our house each month week then this Paloma Picasso (at Tiffany & Co.) Love & Kisses Ring would be the absolute best way to do so.

Again, size 5.

Or if you were looking for earrings then these Tiffany Cushion Hoop Earrings would be the best for everyday wear.

The small ones.

I'll be back with part 2 of ideas sooner than later...

WFMW: holiday elves and Santa paper

As I have stated before, the holiday season is my absolute favorite time of year.

I have an obscene love of Christmas/holiday music.

I love buying gifts for other people.

I even wait until after the holidays when all of the holiday colored and patterned ziploc/hefty plastic baggies go on clearance and then I buy them all. Seriously, all of them. I STILL have like 5 boxes from last year. I like to use them year round...makes life more fun, right?

And I have a natural and healthy love of shopping that keeps me hopping.

I wouldnt even mind living in a Christmas town...you know where everyday was Christmas. And it was acceptable to sing Christmas Carols all the time, where you can always taunt kids with the gift of coal if they act up and pout over nothing, and no one judges you for watching holiday movies everyday, and eating fudge everyday and cookies everyday and pies everyday... And there would be little elves around to do the dirty work like the dishes, clean the oven (you know, from all of the pies and cookies), and pester people to let me know if they want anything...b/c I hate guessing what people want and I hate forgetting people too. Little elves would be perfect at this. Plus, I would have them shave my legs for me - you know, just one less thing.

So naturally I have a slight tendency to sometimes go overboard during November and December. I have a few tried and tested tips that have helped me make sense of the chaos that can be the holidays...

• buy your gifts early in the year during sales and clearances so you don't have to struggle at the last minute to find something - which always leaves me stressed out b/c there is no such thing as 'quick' when it comes to shopping with the masses during this season
• get everyone in your office/group/club the same thing. You'll save money doing this, it makes it so much easier on you and no one will feel slighted in any way.
• don't overextend yourself. Its perfectly okay to say no to parties and other invitations. Part of the joy of the holidays season is being at HOME...doing nothing...well maybe watching It's a Wonderful Life on DVD while decorating the Christmas tree...drinking too much wine and eating far too much of the pumpkin pie you made 'just to see how it would turn out'.
• the one thing that has made wrapping gifts for the kids SO much easier is having 1 roll of wrapping paper from Santa - it is always covered with faces of Santa...this paper is available everywhere so I am not going to suddenly have an issue with this. Santa's wrapping paper has Santa on it - so we know its from him. And then I buy whatever the hell I want for our wrapping paper. But the kids always know which gift is from Santa. Stupid but means something to them. Plus it helps to even it all out and make sure Santa brought enough for both of the little boogers.
• Have a go-to dessert or appetizer. You forgot that you are going to see your long lost ex-coworker who you really don't keep up with much but you feel bad you don't have a gift for them...in comes your go-to dessert or appetizer. Make them up a batch of your super special holiday cookies and even if they are in a holiday ziploc bag it will be such a great gesture.

This is what works for me during the holidays...go HERE to see what works for everyone else!

the weird kid brought the flute again with three calling birds and two french hens

• Last Saturday was one of the best days that Jeff and I have ever had. No, we aren't engaged (yet). No, we aren't buying a house (yet). No we aren't pregnant (yet). But it was absolute bliss. Oh, and we went to Biaggi's and it was good too. Oh, and my dream was even better in real life!
• I jacked up my knee walking somehow. Just plain old walking. Not even running or skipping, just walking. Not sure when my knee started to self destruct but it is apparent that the process has begun. When did walking become such an adventure sport for me?
• I heard a block of Christmas music on the local soft rock station today. This station plays 24 hour Christmas music from Thanksgiving through New Years. Seems they are already starting to sprinkle the good tidings and cheer on us now that November has landed. I, for one, am all for it. I am in love with the holiday season. LOVE. Big, fatty holiday season love. And the music is just one more way that I love to go totally overboard for the season.

• Jeff is truly amazing. Seriously and wonderfully amazing. He is my rock. My comedian. My cuddly teddy bear. My strength. My other half. My reacher of things on tall shelves. My opener of containers. My lifter of heavy things. My own personal giant. I love you~

• Best new TV show? Modern Family. Hands fucking down. Love that he broke it~